The Polynesians who first paddled to Hawai’i filled their canoes with the necessities of creating a new life on an unknown island. In the modern era, similar outrigger canoes with six seats race sprints in bays and long distances across ocean channels.
Since the first six ‘Ohana Oasis retreats I facilitated took place in Hawai’i, I incorporated aspects of the culture into some of the activities. Using this Polynesian history as a metaphor for life, a retreat cohort was gathered around the dining room table working through an activity called, “What Floats Your Boat?” They were tasked with identifying who or what filled each of the unique roles of the environment, the canoe itself, and the six team members paddling in it.
“Trigger.” That’s a word we hear a lot these days. Triggers bring on a wave of emotions, feelings, and maybe even memories unbidden and typically untimely. Inconveniently, most of the time when something strikes an old wound, a place that causes a reflexive response, it’s in a place and circumstance where it can’t be addressed.Continue reading “Triggers – Saving for a Safe Time”
“Mom!” I didn’t answer immediately as the kids had all just got tucked in and I was trying to catch the opening dialogue of the newest episode of Alias. “Mom, come here please…” Alison called out. “Coming!” I replied, heading in during a commercial. Bedtime was easy in our home, everyone knew the routine andContinue reading “Grappling with Guilt”
Grief is “deep sadness or sorrow” caused by a loss. The sadness and sorrow come from the severed connection. When we lose someone we can’t finish the conversation or resolve the disagreement. Often things are left unasked, unsaid, or unanswered.
Even when all the things are said and the parting is sweet, there is deep sadness because the chance to start a new conversation or simply being in the presence of one another isn’t possible.
Although it still hurts, we expect to face the loss of our grandparents, parents and others of an older generation. Likewise, we aren’t sure how it’ll shake out, but we know the possibility of out living our significant other, siblings, and other contemporaries is real. What parents don’t anticipate is giving up the presence of their children.
When a child comes along, parents figure on being stuck with their child, for better or worse, for the remainder of their lives. Parents plan on being the ones to make the permanent exit. Living without their children feels unnatural and just plain wrong to grieving parents. Click on title to read more